Family Ministry

advice, thoughts, and discussion

Marriage….and stress

on June 4, 2012

Ephesians 5:31-33, ” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become flesh. This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. However each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself , and the wife must respect her husband.”

Ephesians 6:1-4, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and your mother–which is the first commandment with a promise–that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate you children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”

We are called to Love God first, then our spouse, then our children. In order to love our kids and to give them a stable and healthy home, we need to have a strong marriage. Now, I don’t have kids yet…but I am married. And my husband and I don’t often fight because of issues that we have with each other or because of sins that we have committed against each other. We don’t have huge problems, but we do fight.

I think it’s healthy to fight, to an extent (or as my husband and I say…we discuss, sometimes very passionately). There are some things that we shouldn’t fight about, and these are the things that we tend to fight about anyways, even in my marriage. We shouldn’t fight about external stressors. These are the things that we can’t control, the things of this world, the things that aren’t essential to our being or our lives.

A great way to explain why we do this is by explaining how we confuse our priorities. A great article that I think you all should read says, “Have you ever seen a gyroscope? In terms of physics, its purpose is to maintain orientation, by providing stability. You don’t need to understand this in depth to be fascinated by watching a gyro at work – frantic, multi-directional rotation, spinning on three axes, with a fixed center. This center, using the force of inertia, creates a stable force along a single axis.

We can use this metaphor to help us understand one purpose for which God designed marriage – to maintain orientation in three ways: husband and wife toward Him, husband and wife toward one another and, by example, others toward God. Without God’s stability, our marriages risk spinning frantically out of control.”

If you’ve been finding yourself fighting with your spouse and blaming them for your lack of finances, your messy house, your unhappy life, your disobedient kids…you’re looking in the wrong place. Stop looking to the right, and start looking up. The only way that you can help your kids is to;

First – know God and do everything that you can to become more like Him. Read your Bible, speak to Him, do what he commands you to do, and just spend some time LISTENING to Him. We tend to speak at Him an awful lot and forget that He may have something to say to us.

Second – Be selfless toward your spouse. Forgive them when they mess up. Do the dishes even if you were the one who cooked dinner. Instead of asking yourself, “why don’t they…?” Ask yourself “Why don’t I…?”

Third – Teach your kids about God. Teach them about His power, His love, His grace. Then show them. Show them by loving others. Show them by loving your spouse.

How do we produce Godly children? Teach them about God….and show them.

Here’s a challenge for this week: Read your Bible for 15 minutes a day, pray for 15 minutes a day, and make a date night with your spouse. If you already do this, try spending even more time in the Word and in prayer! I pray that your marriage will be blessed this week!

 

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